Foster

Things have been a little crazy at our home the last few weeks. Kyle and I were in St. George and got a call about some little boys that needed a foster home. I wish I could post pictures and tell you all about them, but unfortunately I can't.

Kyle and I started the process to become foster parents in January. We were finally certified in July, and this is our first placement. I have been asked a lot why we wanted to do foster care. We have always wanted to adopt, even before we were married. It seems to me that people assume that we are doing it either for money, or because we can't have kids. But, we plan on having more biological children of our own, and If you are looking for a way to earn money, looking to foster care definitely isn't the answer. I have a hard time putting to words the reason that I want to do foster care. I think that it is because I don't want to say that someone is damaged. People fear the children that have unfortunately been put in a bad situation. The children are not in control of what happens to them. I'm not saying that the fears that people have about fostering children are not unfounded. I certainly have my own reservations. I know that it is going to be hard, but I don't think that is a big enough reason for me not to do it. I guess that I just see that there is a need for these children to be loved, and I have some that I am happy to give them.

Our friends and neighbors have been so great to shower us and these little ones with such kindness. When our friends heard that we were coming home from St. George with more kids they broke into our home and got everything ready for them. They cleaned our house, and set up another crib. I'm super embarrassed that my house was left such a mess. And even more embarrassed that my friends knew that it would be:) We received lots of phone calls to see what the boys needed, and it was so nice to see so many people who care. Thank you!

In order to become foster parents you have to go to some training classes. I remember the trainer commenting that the placements will change your family. I considered that before accepting the responsibility to foster, but didn't realize exactly how hard it would be, or how rewarding.

It is definitely an adjustment having 3 kids. (4 if you count the 16 year old boy that we have living with us.) My grandmother raised eight kids. I always thought she was amazing, and a bit crazy, when I thought about her having three kids under the age of three. Now I am adjusting to 3 under 3. It seems that someone is always wearing a wet diaper, hungry, throwing something, or screaming for one reason or another. I have been so blessed to have a wonderful lady in our ward that is willing to come help me for a few hours a day. I feel a bit lazy, and guilty, hiring someone to clean my house. However, I have always been a horrible housekeeper, and she is worth every penny. I have so much more respect for mothers who do it all themselves.

Addie is so in love with the baby. It has been a big change for her having the boys. The other day she came and told me "mommy, it is hard having boys" and then continued by saying "I just don't want to live with babies". Later she got mad and spit. I picked her up to put her in time out, and she told me "I'm just having a hard day". So was I. The first day was crazy with everyone and I was trying to figure out how long I needed to keep the boys before I could call and let the caseworker know that it wasn't working out without losing any self respect. The next morning the older boy must have sensed that I needed some reassurance and all he wanted to do was cuddle with me when he woke up. That definitely helped me want to make this work. When I ponder the situation he is in I understand that it is a huge adjustment for him as well, and he is handling things the best way that he knows how. I'm sure he needs some reassurance as well. Every day seems to be getting better. The "sibling" rivalry is simmering down and I am actually really enjoying this new change. Kyle and I loaded up the 3 car seats this weekend and headed to St. George. We left intentionally late with hopes that they would all sleep on the drive. The last hour was insane. It was midnight, and all three kids were screaming. Addie wanted me to rub her back, and wanted the light on. The light woke up the baby. The baby woke up the older brother. The older brother wanted to hold my hand. So I was trying to feed a bottle to the baby, rub Addie's back, and hold the boy's hand at the same time. I decided to try to focus on whoever had the most annoying cry. On another trip Kyle and I somehow found out that the baby will fall asleep to loud music. Think "American Woman". So Kyle turned the radio up, and we just laughed. I am loving this new family I have.