Foster Care

Some of you have noticed one of my new blog links to the left of the page entitled, "What's right with child welfare in Utah." Kyle and I just finished up our last training class to become foster parents at the beginning of the month, and that blog belongs to one of the trainers. We were able to go last week and get our fingerprints scanned for a background check. After that we have a home inspection and we will then (hopefully) be officially licensed. I figured many of you will probably be seeing us around with new children in tow, and will wonder what is going on.

Kyle and I have talked about wanting to adopt for a long time. Since we are now married, and can have our own biological children, we decided that it would be nice to do foster care rather than adopt. We figured that there are probably more people willing to adopt than would be willing to do foster care. If the opportunity comes up to adopt a child through foster care we will still be very happy to adopt as well.

I have a lot of fears going into this. One of my biggest fears is that it will be really hard to give the children back to their biological parents. The kids will have been removed from the home for abuse, or neglect. I am so afraid that I will fall in love with these little ones, and have a difficult time sending them back to a home where they have been previously abused. I am also afraid of bringing so much hurt and pain into our family. They will have dealt with so much heartache, and I am afraid that we will be hurt by this too. Especially Addisen, I hate the thought of bringing anyone into our home who may hurt her in any way. I feel like this is a very rational fear. I have heard many times that people who abuse others, have often been abused themselves. I am fearful of dealing with the child's emotional scars. I can go on and on about what I am afraid of. On a side note, many people think foster parents only use the children for money. I don't know how people make money through foster care if they are legitimately taking care of the children. We will only be getting about 15 dollars a day to provide everything that the child will need. On average, foster parents spend and extra 150 dollars a month out of pocket to care for the child. Ha ha, a little off topic. Anyway, they are hoping to cut the reimbursement rate even more this year.

There have been nights when I have cried myself to sleep thinking about how hard it will be. I feel comforted to know that this is something that our Heavenly Father wants for us. One night as my emotions were going back and forth, I came across this scripture in 2nd Timothy: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." This scripture mended my heart. I know that whatever trials we deal with because of, and with, these children we will be able to overcome with the help of our Savior. We have this special opportunity to open our hearts, and homes, to these little ones. We will have the chance to build their self esteem. We have the opportunity to show them that they matter, and that they have a Heavenly Father that loves them dearly, and feels their every pain. How comforted I am to know that I am loved, and cared for, by many people around me. It seems so selfish for me not to help those in need, simply because of my own fear. I hope, and pray, that I will be able to keep a positive attitude about the trials that we are sure to endure. In 1973, President Lee said: “The greatest miracles I see today are not necessarily the healing of sick bodies, but the … healing of sick souls, those who are sick in soul and spirit and are downhearted and distraught, on the verge of nervous breakdowns. We are reaching out to all such, because they are precious in the sight of the Lord, and we want no one to feel that they are forgotten.” (Ensign, July 1973, p. 123.) I don't want any little child, through no fault of their own, to ever feel forgotten. I think it is sad to give up on them because they have had a hard past. I hope you will keep us in your prayers as we embark on this journey :)